You’re in urgent need of relief, yet to your horror the next toilet is like twenty minutes away. You can’t hold it for even ten minutes more, and everything seems bleak. You find yourself thinking: what can I do?
Don’t worry; here are five things you can do if you need to pee but there’s no toilet around.
Find a secluded spot, empty out your water bottle (or just drink it since you’re going to need the fluids soon anyway), plug your junk into that circular hole and just let it go. Cap the bottle when you’re finished and throw it away (or if you’re Bear Grylls, you know what to do).
2. Plastic bag
If you don’t have a bottle, or just don’t want to buy a bottled water for the sake of it, it’s alright. Find a plastic bag or ask for one from any stalls you might see; find an isolated place and aim. Once you’re done, knot that stinky bag together and leave it at the nearest waste disposal site. Oh, and wash your hands as soon as possible too – you don’t want to touch anything important with your hands soaked with urine, do you?
What do soldiers use to relieve their business whenever they go on their traditional road marches? Nope, no portable toilets; they actually use the bushes lying alongside the trail.
If you happen to be somewhere near a forestry area, find a clump of bushes thick enough to hide all your dirty secrets and relieve yourself. Make sure nobody’s around the area though; you don’t want anyone to peep on your ‘golden shower’.
Did you know that the involuntary boners you had in the past could actually cease the urge to pee? It actually works the same way as during sex – your sexual organ would adjust itself for discharge, thus halting the process of urinating for the moment.
So if you ever feel the urgent need to pee, make sure to entertain some flighty fantasies and keep that boner going on. In fact, fantasize like your life depended on it, because you probably don’t want to wet your pants in front of everyone.
5. Close your urethra
If there’s ever a time when muscles could come into toilet play, it’s now. Focus on isolating and squeezing muscles that are surrounding the urethra while letting other muscles relax on their own. Relax your pelvis and abdomen to avoid placing more pressure on your bladder.